The Worst Month

To think that I won't be agree

If new year gave you wonderful spirit

Unless it brings you money.

I think welcoming a new month is a good thing

But turns out to be not as good as what everyone thought.

I thank God that this month is pass.

Eventhough it isn't as fast as December lasts.

Wishing me always get higher believe and cheerful day.

May everything and money be with me.

The Outlier

Something puts me back to the time when I am no longer having pain

No longer having moods and interests

The worst is yet to come

But I can tell

Not that I am a fortune or future teller

I just feel it, but with no worries

Nothing worries me much

Except when I can't drink when I am thirsty

Coming to a stage where I have no guts for anything

Having no interactions with anyone

Becoming an outrageous almost mature woman is not easy

I do not avoid vivid or lucid reality

But it looks more like a bad dream

So I just want to wake up and walk

Breathing with the different kind of air

Talking with no focus on the brain

And anything that cause me nothing

I was confuse before

My head feels like a blank paper with no ink

I can not think or argue

I am becoming an outlier to my own self

Can not defense what my head wants

And can not beat up what my heart needs

Tap and fill me to your deepest well

So we can think together

So I am no longer become a lost flesh without bone