What the book says, at least.

if this is not what the book told

i never going to move out

from the light that might blew me up

like fire abandons the water

i am going to escape what left

it was like sitting in the corner of the ocean

i can feel the summer air through the cold wind

i always like how the story book ends

can not be predicted by anyone

hoping i am entering this story

with summer and good air

so i will be the luckiest people alive

surrounded by the best particle in this planet.

This December 8th

Some people thought they were right

Some people thought they were perfect


Some people don't understand what other's doing

Some people don't want to know what's going on


Somehow.........


Some poeple want to know what we've been through

Because some people believe that we've made to help each other.

Rest in Peace, Madiba

For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

  Nelson Mandela 

It's not about a black or white people

It's not about where he comes from

It's not about what people do to him

But what he done for us.

He is a hero

He is a kind of savior

A hero for his country

A savior for his future generation. 

He's just as best as what he's said

He's just as strong as what he's done 

And he's just as amazing as he's thought.

Today, He left us with no regret

He left us with a pride

And he left us a kind heart.

Rest in Peace, Nelson Mandela.

Rest in Peace, Madiba. 

Michael Bublé - "Everything" [Official Music Video]

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times.

It's you, it's you, You make me sing.

You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

For someday, today and yesterday

Someday, I know
Everything I wish for will be come true
Either sooner or later
Because I know
God is never sleep
For hearing my pray

Someday, I understand
Why I never get what I want
Because God never sleep
For watching me
And knowing what am I doing

Today, I beg
For everything the best for the people around me
For always caring and loving me
Because I know
God never teach us to hate

Tomorrow, I hope
For blessing and better living
For anything possible happen in my life
Because I see
God never let me cry

“Do not make
homes
out of people.
This will leave you
homesick
and sad,
missing arms that
cannot hold
roofs,
hearts with
shaky foundations.”

—

Michelle K., Home.

Enough said.

People sometimes just get out and never come back.

Leaving a trace that can't be erased.

But it will comes back on how we treat them.

Because what goes around, comes around. 

Stranger

You used to be someone I've ever known

Holding my back when I will fall

Strengthen my head to face the bitterness

Supporting my soul even I know how it ends

I used to know you more than I did yesterday

Facing all the truths simultaneously

Running by my self while you were walking

Providing warmness for every austerity

We choose to avoid our self

Contradicting our presence

Humiliating what should we proud of

Convincing to not even care

We are stranger in the same place

Extolling the history

Disclaiming the existence of life after

If this is the end of the journey

Let's get up and know each other

For being care

For being kind

For being known

And remove the tension

We are not going to be a stranger

For the entire of our life

Because someday I know

That I need to talk to

That I need to help

And I need to know what happens

If  this is not the best part of your story

Let's make up and embellish

For not calling a stranger anymore

Fortune

I always ask my self what it's like to have a fine fortune
Instead of my perfect life from your point of view
Sometimes if you ask me what would I beg for in advance
I'd love to say that I want to be reborn as another person
 A better one.

Then I walk away someday to a thought you never think before
I go farther and got lost
All I can see is a misery, suffering
I can not even stand for a minute
But how they can?

I woke up crying, a lot
Is this life should be I complained about?
Is this life should be I avoid?
You have seen worse than yours
Now, I wake up, in the night and morning
Just to think, what have I done in the past

As a matter of fact, they do not even think how badly they live
They through so many worse problem
Not only me who feel suffering
Not only me who feel sad and misfortune
Because they live well with a pretty smile on their faces

If this is a lesson, I will take the highest credit
To learn better and longer
If this is a dream, let me sleep longer
But it is a reality
When I woke up and just wondering
How my life will be if I had no fine fortune since I was born

I am in a pretty fortune, now
And I should not talk behind their back.

It's Friday and It's Rainy, Sweety.

The lamp bulb between the streets

Hooter everywhere

Separating the patient and not

Yet many of them want to precede

This is more excited than independence celebration parade

You could see along the street

Many steel stuffs displace

From hoping to win or stay

While I am enjoying my night on my bed

Staring at computer searching for whatever I could do

I feel a lot better than having back pain after long trip

Although we do the same thing at the same situation

Wasting our time

Today is Friday

And it is rainy outside

What happens tonight?

There will be a second homecoming event

Along the eye can see

But there are also a little romance

Between rain which can not explain how they drop

And between people inside the steel stuffs

Why they can not even move

It's Friday

And It's Rainy

I love it like Pooh meet honey

Like I found someone who called me sweety

Dear You

I do not know what to say
I do not know what to hope
I believe in the first sight
I believe in the power of the eye

I love everything about him
I want to know about him
He's one of the favorite boy
I ever see

I fall in love
Like i ever love someone that i used to know
I fall in your eyes

My heart can not stop beating
Even for a while
Even for a minute

You are the awesome paranoia
You are the beauty of God's creature
You are the main of my mind

You are my dear.

This is a reality of life

Yesterday
Around 6.30 pm

I feel sad. Just sad.
Staring at my phone screen and read word by word a text from the very best hero in my entire life.
It was like a simple question pop up in my text message screen.
I don't think that will be going to make me suffer and surender.
I just think at that time that was just a simple question like he always sent.
But yesterday not only about a "how are you" "what are you doing" "how's college" "when will you get the test" "what do you eat" question.
That was very scary, even scarier than the conjuring or insidious 2.
He was asking me the most difficult question i ever imagine. It was really beyond expectation. Harder than intermediate accounting  final exam.
I couldn't breathe, i just staring at my phone, my sight was getting blur. And i just about to cry but i knew i have to handle this.
He asked me this question.
"In 2 years later I will going to be retaired, what should i do after that?"
What should i answer?
I pretend i don't read that message. Then i replied about 30minutes later.
I am sad. Still sad.
I was crying.

It feels like i am the most stupid daughter in the world.
How can i can't be a proud daughter for them. How can i always ruin my life.
I am a terrible mess. Really.

But then i know.
I realize something.
I am getting older.
I am being an adult now.
Half adult.
I have a very big responsibility.
I just can't rely on him anymore.
Not more.
I have to stand up by my feet.
Holding my own soulder.
Walk by my own sweat.
This is scary.
This is the scariest part of this life.
When you finally got this choice.

He will be retired in less than 2years.
It means i must feed my self.
I must be a grown up child.
But i just don't know.
I just think that i want always be like 7years old young girl playing babydoll.
Life must be very easier.

But now i am 20. Not in 7 or 17 years old.
I have to be a ready to face this hurt truth.
But you know, life is just is.
And life is just was.
Not even will and want.
This is the reality of life.
Holding on your self for something.

Adore

It's not a love story so don't judge me
This is neither a sad poetry so don't be melancholy
These words are the most honest sentence i ever tell everybody

I am just a common girl don't be rude
You are just another people just be quite
But he is a smile to every heart beat :-)

He used to be a stranger
He used to be an outsider
He used to be my admiration
He always be my 'i don't know what happen with my self' when he's around

But now

He is my dream catcher
He is and he was
He is my morning and night
He always is
He is my flower to a beautiful bee

I adore him
I always
And always
Always
And always

He is so adorable
He is a lovable man
He always
And always
And I adore him
Always
And always.

A Cup of Hot Chocolate

Who calm you down when you are alone?
Who make you warm when you need a hug?
Who will save your tears from the smooky eyes?

Sometimes you do not need a person, personally
Sometimes you do not need a word to explain
Sometimes all you need is a nice smell
Sometimes all you want is a nice meal

Or sometimes all you need the most is a cup of hot chocolate.

Kepada Embun Pagi

Kepada embun pagi disetiap mimpi
Dapatkah kau bangun lebih dini?
Kecup keningku sehangat mentari
Lalu rangkul tanganku seperti bidadari

Kepada embun pagi disetiap mimpi
Aku memujamu seperti bulan mengelilingi matahari tiada henti
Aku menghela nafas setiap kulihat wajah yang ku curi

Kepada embun pagi disetiap mimpi
Cintai aku dalam setiap darah mengalir di nadi
Cintai aku selalu seperti aku selalu mencintaimu hari ini.

Ps: this poem made over 6months ago.

When?

I want to speak
I want to scream
I want to understand
I want to know
I want to answer
But, when?

I want to be understood
I want to be calmed
I want to be noticed
I want to be accompanied
I want to be listened
But, when?

I want you know
I want you understand
I want you stop
I want you listen
I want you care
But, when?

I want to give up
I want to stop
I want to hide
I want to disappear
I want to go
But, when?

When will I?

I want a time
I want a space
I want an ear
To understand
To hear me

When will I?

Grow Up

Garisnya tidak lagi setebal dinding
Warnanya tidak lagi setegas batu nisan
Namun bentuknya masih seindah kamboja seharum kenanga

Rautnya bukan lagi berisikan senyum kecil
Matanya sudah tergores sayatan luka tua
Tapi rasanya masih tetap kelapa muda

Jarinya kini tampak letih untuk menggenggam
Kakinya bahkan masih berbajukan karet
Tetapi fikirannya seperti elang

Aku bukan lagi anak kecil menangis
Aku tidak lagi meminta minum
Tapi aku mengerti apa yang terjadi

Aku sudah besar
Aku sudah dewasa.

People

We should talk
Then walk.
Or we could laugh
Then go high.

We can be friends
Then talk by walk.
Or we can be enemies
Then laugh each other at the high.

We could fight
But it never right.
We could spend night
But it dark no light.

We must dance
To know how far the chance.
We might run
To know how it could be fun.

Sometimes we forget what we should do at the end of the day.
But sometimes we just let it loose what happened at the end of your day.
Because we are a living blood.
Who might ran or walk to take the life.

Because we are human.
People. People.

Beautiful Sadness

If the wind does not make you falter
Whether I will stand motionless?
Clueless, meaningless?

If the best way is to let the falling leaves blowing in the wind
I better pick up leaves without a sound
Than sitting silent reading your empty face drawing a sorrow

I do not know how the wind can not seduce you
Making a piece of your deepest soul to forgive
Making a smile in the corner of your sight

Because someday you will very sorry for allowing wind curse you
Yet you can still have a chance to fix all the mess
But i'd rather call this beautiful sadness than happiness.

Past

It wont last like romeo and juliet
Once you've betrayed it will lost
You can't deny like it's your fate
It can change what are you so fast.

Moment to moment will disappear
Through your sincerity of kindess and sadness
Every road has been blocked by your car
To never remain a thing as memories.

The first thing came up in ur mind
That's everything should left by ur fragile shoulder
To acknowledge inch of
Yesterday smell around ur neighbour.

And right after you hit by a hint of symultenous the day before
You loose
Broken wings will never be the same until you remember one thing about
You regret everything happens.

And If these things come twice
Still you called it past?

(Almost) Being 20

Count down to my birthday. Less than a day, even less than 10hours.
I don't expect any celebration or birthday surprise. People can remember me or not. It's up to them.
As a matter now is I am getting older. Finally I hit the second head.
Seriously I am being nervous now. I don't know but it feels like i can't believe that I am already 20.
I don't want to be adult. Like a commercial in tv said: jadi dewasa itu menyenangkan tapi susah di jalanin. And yes I am agree!
Well I am preparing my self welcoming my second head. I hope it still a decade ahead. Ahead. Haha :-D

Ramadhan Mubarak

"Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang menyakiti Allah dan RasulNya, Allah akan melaknatinya di dunia dan di akhirat (33:57)"

Well, first of all I would say thanks to Allah SWT for His very big blessing for me. He is the most merciful. Without Him I never be very thankful 'till now. I am too happy. I don't know how to express. Let's just say Alhamdulillah.

Em why I choose this title? Besides now we are in Ramadhan month, this holy month also the very strategic moment to do all of good things. Kindess thingies. So many good thing you can do in this holy month.
I believe in God plans. For every human who pray and try will be paid. He never lies. He is a promise keeper.
Like a part of Alquran that I quoted above, we can't be rude to God or His Rasul. We can't make any harmful things. You can say that maybe God is unfair. That's one of rude thing from so many rude thingies that I can't describe.
You have to always believe in God. Once you broke His heart it will last. But again, Allah itu Maha Baik. Dia Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.
Getting longer getting ngawur ini judul sama isinya. Intinya sering bersukur, jangan pernah suka marah sama Allah. Semua nikmat yang kita rasain kan datengnya dari Allah.

WELCOME, LADY.

Welcome welcome!

I am a new comer on Blogger, but maybe I am not a new comer on posting something. Before I decide to use Blogger, I already have a Tumblr account, and that's quite interesting. Or I can say that's very interesting.

Because I am a new comer, I still learning how to decorate and use Blog. Please pardon me if there are some weirdos setting on my Blog. Hihi.

Love, N.