Stranger

You used to be someone I've ever known

Holding my back when I will fall

Strengthen my head to face the bitterness

Supporting my soul even I know how it ends

I used to know you more than I did yesterday

Facing all the truths simultaneously

Running by my self while you were walking

Providing warmness for every austerity

We choose to avoid our self

Contradicting our presence

Humiliating what should we proud of

Convincing to not even care

We are stranger in the same place

Extolling the history

Disclaiming the existence of life after

If this is the end of the journey

Let's get up and know each other

For being care

For being kind

For being known

And remove the tension

We are not going to be a stranger

For the entire of our life

Because someday I know

That I need to talk to

That I need to help

And I need to know what happens

If  this is not the best part of your story

Let's make up and embellish

For not calling a stranger anymore

Fortune

I always ask my self what it's like to have a fine fortune
Instead of my perfect life from your point of view
Sometimes if you ask me what would I beg for in advance
I'd love to say that I want to be reborn as another person
 A better one.

Then I walk away someday to a thought you never think before
I go farther and got lost
All I can see is a misery, suffering
I can not even stand for a minute
But how they can?

I woke up crying, a lot
Is this life should be I complained about?
Is this life should be I avoid?
You have seen worse than yours
Now, I wake up, in the night and morning
Just to think, what have I done in the past

As a matter of fact, they do not even think how badly they live
They through so many worse problem
Not only me who feel suffering
Not only me who feel sad and misfortune
Because they live well with a pretty smile on their faces

If this is a lesson, I will take the highest credit
To learn better and longer
If this is a dream, let me sleep longer
But it is a reality
When I woke up and just wondering
How my life will be if I had no fine fortune since I was born

I am in a pretty fortune, now
And I should not talk behind their back.

It's Friday and It's Rainy, Sweety.

The lamp bulb between the streets

Hooter everywhere

Separating the patient and not

Yet many of them want to precede

This is more excited than independence celebration parade

You could see along the street

Many steel stuffs displace

From hoping to win or stay

While I am enjoying my night on my bed

Staring at computer searching for whatever I could do

I feel a lot better than having back pain after long trip

Although we do the same thing at the same situation

Wasting our time

Today is Friday

And it is rainy outside

What happens tonight?

There will be a second homecoming event

Along the eye can see

But there are also a little romance

Between rain which can not explain how they drop

And between people inside the steel stuffs

Why they can not even move

It's Friday

And It's Rainy

I love it like Pooh meet honey

Like I found someone who called me sweety

Dear You

I do not know what to say
I do not know what to hope
I believe in the first sight
I believe in the power of the eye

I love everything about him
I want to know about him
He's one of the favorite boy
I ever see

I fall in love
Like i ever love someone that i used to know
I fall in your eyes

My heart can not stop beating
Even for a while
Even for a minute

You are the awesome paranoia
You are the beauty of God's creature
You are the main of my mind

You are my dear.

This is a reality of life

Yesterday
Around 6.30 pm

I feel sad. Just sad.
Staring at my phone screen and read word by word a text from the very best hero in my entire life.
It was like a simple question pop up in my text message screen.
I don't think that will be going to make me suffer and surender.
I just think at that time that was just a simple question like he always sent.
But yesterday not only about a "how are you" "what are you doing" "how's college" "when will you get the test" "what do you eat" question.
That was very scary, even scarier than the conjuring or insidious 2.
He was asking me the most difficult question i ever imagine. It was really beyond expectation. Harder than intermediate accounting  final exam.
I couldn't breathe, i just staring at my phone, my sight was getting blur. And i just about to cry but i knew i have to handle this.
He asked me this question.
"In 2 years later I will going to be retaired, what should i do after that?"
What should i answer?
I pretend i don't read that message. Then i replied about 30minutes later.
I am sad. Still sad.
I was crying.

It feels like i am the most stupid daughter in the world.
How can i can't be a proud daughter for them. How can i always ruin my life.
I am a terrible mess. Really.

But then i know.
I realize something.
I am getting older.
I am being an adult now.
Half adult.
I have a very big responsibility.
I just can't rely on him anymore.
Not more.
I have to stand up by my feet.
Holding my own soulder.
Walk by my own sweat.
This is scary.
This is the scariest part of this life.
When you finally got this choice.

He will be retired in less than 2years.
It means i must feed my self.
I must be a grown up child.
But i just don't know.
I just think that i want always be like 7years old young girl playing babydoll.
Life must be very easier.

But now i am 20. Not in 7 or 17 years old.
I have to be a ready to face this hurt truth.
But you know, life is just is.
And life is just was.
Not even will and want.
This is the reality of life.
Holding on your self for something.

Adore

It's not a love story so don't judge me
This is neither a sad poetry so don't be melancholy
These words are the most honest sentence i ever tell everybody

I am just a common girl don't be rude
You are just another people just be quite
But he is a smile to every heart beat :-)

He used to be a stranger
He used to be an outsider
He used to be my admiration
He always be my 'i don't know what happen with my self' when he's around

But now

He is my dream catcher
He is and he was
He is my morning and night
He always is
He is my flower to a beautiful bee

I adore him
I always
And always
Always
And always

He is so adorable
He is a lovable man
He always
And always
And I adore him
Always
And always.