Kemudian

Aku kemudian jatuh cinta

Kepada dia yang sudah ku tahu pasti tak mungkin bisa bersama

Lantas aku jatuh cinta

Dengan seseorang yang mendengar namanya saja otakku memuja

Dan aku akhirnya jatuh cinta

Kepada lelaki yang senyumnya, tingkah lakunya padaku yang membuat aku semakin jatuh cinta.

Hingga akhirnya aku jatuh cinta

Tidak pada lubang yang sama, namun jelas jalan kita berbeda.

Tapi aku tetap jatuh cinta

Kepadamu yang bisa membuat hatiku berdegup kencang

Aku jatuh cinta

Karena hanya dia yang dapat membuatku jatuh cinta.

Tanpa tanya mengapa

Kenapa

Apa

Dan bagaimana.

Aku jatuh cinta padanya

Untuk yang kesekian kalinya.

Love, N

2Q14

Another damn birthday.

To think I am going to have my twenty first birthday in this incomprehensible world, of all places!

2Q14

That was where I was now.

Q is for "question mark"

A world that bears a question.

(Adopted from Murakami's finest novel "1Q84")

Yo!

I miss you

Like the bee can not life without her sting

I miss you

Like romeo sacrifice his life for juliet

I miss you

Feels like the air not containing any oxygen anymore

And I miss you

Because I can not talk to you

Even for a word

Or a phrase

That

I miss

You.

Plaid

So.

I fall in love today.

In a shape of plaid.

Like cube.

But it is not.

Well.

Good day.

Friday.

May 22nd

I love arguing something

I love discussing everything

The time that finally I can talk as much as I can

The day that finally I can think as free as I can

Again.

I have to loose my definition of happiness

Should I give up everything that I believe it will become my happiness?

Or.

Should I never be happy for the entire of my life?

So.

I will not hurt anyone by anything what happened to me.

The moment when I can feel so much happy till smile widely.

The second I get to know that happiness is a very bless thing people have.

The night I have a nice dream.

Thanks for even making me happy effortlessly.

Thanks for the time you could give to me endlessly.

Thanks for good talk even I am not ask to.

It's always exciting to know you better.

From past, now and then.

May 17th

The moment when you feel happy but make others not.

The time when you actually meet what you want, but make others jealous.

Is this the life you talked before?

Is this the thing that you should do?

I've warned my self not to notice for whatever that took my happiness.

But, how if my happiness itself took away from me? 

Should I let them go?

So I change my kind of happiness.

I change my perspective about what being happy should be.

I find another point of view.

What is it?

Like a pandora box.

Full of secret.

But surely will make you the happiest person in the world.

I know what the best thing in my life.

Not you.

Sorry for ignoring what you told me.

Sorry for not being a good person before.

Today, I promise my self not to consider you as a part of my life.

Thanks for everything you gave.

Thanks for everything we've been through.

My love will always with you.

April 16th; before mid exam right away.

Wish me super luck in this very last day before mid exam is over

May I gain strength and power

God will remain your prays.

Xo, N.